Calendar of Events Updated: 9/12/14

This is not a nightmare.
This is a horror movie. 

* Monday, Sept 15, 7:00 AM Porta-Cath surgery

First, the "Port" gets surgically implanted under my skin
to make sticking me less painful(??)
Then, they're putting the "Cath" into my jugular vein.
I'm told this doesn't go into my heart.
Yes, I'm that stupid.
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* Thursday, Sept 18, 8:00 AM Blood work; 

8:45 AM Consult w/oncologist about starting chemotherapy.

Why is this person smiling?
Oh I know why!
Because that's not a real person.

Fortunately! I see my shrink on Tuesday! Because I am going full-throttle 

out of my freaking mind.